how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
