Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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