I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
