Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Randomize
