exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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