i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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