I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
