Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize