he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
