Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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