when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
