I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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