lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
