You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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