Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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