I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
