Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
