Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
