Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
