i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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