So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
