I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
