I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
