You're completely useless in the revolution.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
