HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
lol hangovers are for mortals.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
