i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize