No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
