i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
