Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
