Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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