ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
