Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize