What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
