I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
