What a fucking waste of an outfit
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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