It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
There r osticjed everywhere
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
