Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Are my feet made of real feet?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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