youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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