my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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