i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize