I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
