she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
