You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
being pregnant is like rehab
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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