Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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