I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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