gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
