I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
