We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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