shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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