Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
