her vagina looked like bernie madoff
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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