I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
