i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize