I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
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