those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
