I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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