Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
