I didn't shave. On purpose
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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